i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
