No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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