So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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