your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize