and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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