Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
