I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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