just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
