If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
