He is an equal opportunity slut.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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