Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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