Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
