well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize