check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
