Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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