I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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