did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
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