I wish you could order shots online.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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