Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
