Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
