physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize