I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I fill condoms, not promises.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
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