Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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