Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
