Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
