guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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