I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
