i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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