Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize