My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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