It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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