when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
