Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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