Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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