You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
