gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
