Plan B is the new Plan A
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
