No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
