Rock
Scissors
Fuck
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
