How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
