this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
