It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
