Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
