Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize