I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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