ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
