I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
