Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
