she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I came so hard my ears popped.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
