So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
