I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
