I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
