so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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