Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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