They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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