i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
