It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize