New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
