Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
