"it" just moved
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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