His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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