dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize