im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
