'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
