you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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