the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
