am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
