We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
