he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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