im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Randomize
