how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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