Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
